For the party people: A guide to the Summer League drinking game

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LAS VEGAS — There’s only a select group of folks that stay up to watch summer league games that start at 9 p.m. central time. Hardcore fans, second- and third-shifters with access to a TV and anyone that needs background noise to fall asleep — in your general direction, I salute. But this piece isn’t for you. This one’s for anybody who likes to party. Because nothing says “let’s get down” like a late-night summer league game on a weeknight.

By tip-off this evening, the Spurs will have been part of the late starting group in each of their first three games of their week in Las Vegas. So, for the nocturnal, for those who don’t actually HAVE to wake up early the next morning, and for those of you looking to pop a bottle cap or two, here’s a good way to play along.

 

The San Antonio Spurs Summer League Drinking Game:

 

May be modified to desired specification. These are merely guidelines to get you started. And since we here at 48 Minutes of Hell promote responsible party habits, quantities will be reasonable and select beverages are not recommended. As in, don’t play drinking games with liquor, guys. That’s probably a generally decent rule of thumb for any situation.

Without further ado:

  • Take a drink any time Aron Baynes is a major “bro.” (Keep in mind, “bro-ness” can take many forms, so it’s up to you to decide what constitutes a legitimate “bro-ing out.” But be careful, because given his inherently being a “bro” you could almost validate binge drinking. Do not do this. You will not have a good time.)
    • Flexing (5 drinks): It’s unlikely you’ll see this method of posturing, but given the rarity and flat-out brazenness of this style of “bro-ing,” five drinks seems reasonable. Also advised: GIF the flex for the rest of us to watch later.
    • Shoving (3 drinks): This action can take many forms. It can be direct (which may call for an extra drink or two) or it may be a “clear-out” move. The best way to describe this action would be, it generally takes place in borderline tie-up situations, where a player who is perhaps being fouled or wrestling for a ball moves his arm upward to clear space. It is often used to show innocence in some situations, but do not be confused. It is nearly always a last jab directed at the opponent. It’s like getting that last word, it shows dominance. Very “bro-y.”
    • Score (1 drink): This is pretty simple, and isn’t necessarily indicative up Baynes’ “bro” status. But it’s a solid occurrence that doesn’t happen often. Plus, when he puts the ball in the basket, it may or may not inspire high-fives from anyone watching, which is, in itself, super “bro-ish.” (
    • Again, from the way he posts up to the way he plays defense, Baynes has many drinkable actions. It’s up to you decide what works best for you and your group.

 

  • Take a drink any time Nando De Colo goes Nando De YOLO. (Again, this is up for interpretation, but this is pretty self-explanatory. Nando has a flair for the … well, sometimes he just has flair, and it isn’t always necessary.)
    • Any sequence that involves multiple pump-fakes (5 drinks): The end result is irrelevant in this scenario, though you’re free to refine the criteria. Assist, made shot, missed shot or turnover, it doesn’t matter. Though the pass-fake-to-double-pump-to-drop-off-turnover are often the most entertaining. Not to mention, most pain-inducing.
    • Behind-the-back/wraparound/behind-the-head passes (3 drinks): The Nando trademark. De Colo had some of the team’s most entertaining passes throughout the season, and you’d think the summer league atmosphere would make it ripe for some fun facilitation.
    • Missed 3-pointers (1 drink): Unfortunately, De Colo has not been good from deep. He’s 2-for-12 through two games from the arc, so at this point you may want to pace yourself.

 

  • Take a drink any time the Ryan Richards/Dexter Pittman combo does … something. (This portion of the guide is completely up for interpretation, because those guys, man…
    • Made field goals (5 drinks): The two have combined for three of these through two games, so there ya go. Now that I’ve established this, they’ll probably go off tonight and combine for like, I dunno, five made shots.
    • 3-point attempts (X drinks): Ryan Richards has already attempted two of them, so it’s possible. I’m leaving this variable up to you guys, because if Dexter Pittman shoots a three, just drink the whole bottle.
    • Shared court time (drink until it stops): On second thought, this probably isn’t wise.

 

  • Take a drink when Deshaun Thomas scores.
    • This isn’t even really part of the game. Just sit back and enjoy this guy for now, because it might be a minute or two before we see him in San Antonio, if we ever do. I think we will, for whatever that’s worth.

 

Enjoy it tonight, folks. And above all else, be safe. If you’ve got any amendments, throw ‘em in the comment section. This guide is a work in progress.


  • STIJL

    If your getting paid for this…I want your job. : )

  • David Salazar

    lol

  • Dr. Who

    If you did this during the Hawks game, your liver is toast. Nano finally showed up and Baynes was pretty nasty with plenty of “Bro-ness”